The word that best describes this year so far is roller coaster. Okay, that’s two words. You get my point. So far 2015 has been full of huge highs, low lows, and a few events that have left me feeling angry and frustrated. Usually I’m good about keeping feelings and rants to myslef but that day I was so mad I needed to vent. So I did. In my moment of despair I posted a plea for inspirational quotes on Facebook and received a few funny and encouraging comments. But there was one person that really understood what I was trying to say. He commented that it seemed that I just needed to be heard and he was right.
What I needed that day was a virtual hug, or something like that. I just needed to feel like, in that moment, I was not alone. That somebody gave a damn. That’s the thing, many times all we just need someone to hear us; our problems, our frustrations, our fears. We all need someone to listen without judgement. To be heard is to be validated. To be heard is to feel loved. We all need to be heard in order to feel like we’re part of something and that we’re not doing it alone.
When you decide to follow your own path many of the people you know won’t get it. They won’t understand your reasoning or think what you’re doing is a waste of time. They’ll question you and they’ll judge you, perhaps, in part, because you are proving to them how brave you are and how brave they aren’t. Deciding to do what’s right for you can leave you feeling alienated. Not everyone has a great support group. Not everyone has someone they can turn to when things get rough and they need to be heard.
We all need our tribe. Without a tribe to support you, it gets that much harder to keep going when things get tough. The encouragement we get from someone who takes the time to listen to what we’re going through can help us get through the difficult times because all of a sudden we no longer feel like we’re doing it alone. It’s not easy to find those you can really trust and who will care and listen. But it’s not impossible. Start by being someone who cares and listens to others and maybe you’ll receive the same in return. There are no guarantees, but you have to keep trying.
Your tribe many not be your family or those that are supposed to be close to you. They might be online, or in a local group meeting. You might have different tribes for different aspects of your life. It doesn’t matter as long as there’s somewhere where you can be you and where you feel like you belong. Wanna know a secret? I’m still working on this myself, and would love to find others in a similar situation with whom I can build a tribe. That’s why I wrote this post, because I needed to be heard.